Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
