You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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