ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I want her autograph on my taint
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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