you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
