all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
