i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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