Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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