I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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