And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
