Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
