Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
