you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
