How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
