Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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