Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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