I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
