If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
