Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
