I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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