I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
