Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
