IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
