at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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