I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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