So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
