Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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