she was so not down for the gang bang
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
