She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
