True but thats because hes a fetus.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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