i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
