i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
