if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
