Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
