I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
