I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
