I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
