I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
