they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
