you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
