I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
