I think my vagina is haunted
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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