Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
nutella sex= disaster
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
