her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
