i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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