brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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