i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
