So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
