it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
