I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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