Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
