real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
