In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
