going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize