how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
