she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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