she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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