It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Shame is for Republicans.
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