She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
