C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
