So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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