I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
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