either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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